Which Bumps Do You Prefer?

During the Republican Tea Party Debate Bachmann brought up the issue of Perry's Executive decision to force 12 year old girls to receive a shot that prevents cervical cancer.

WHAT?

I first watched this in my political communication course and decided it was crazy. The government should not be able to force children to take a shot for a non-contagious disease, but moreso than that ONE MAN should not have the ability to make that happen.

When I had more time to think about it, I still don't think it's appropriate for one man to require that to happen, however, we do have shots for diseases that we are forced to take. There is a lot of government regulation on healthcare already and I don't expect that to decrease any time soon.

However, this conversation led to another with Ashley the other day.

For those who don't know, there is talks of whether the government should provide birth control to young people.

And no, I'm not talking about the bowl of expired condoms sitting outside of the nurse's office in high school.

I'm talking about providing pills, or shots, or surgery to girls to prevent pregnancy.

I think it's a great idea.

      1.  When we look at poverty stricken families what common correlation do we see? Unmarried mothers, teenage mothers, children that need support. Here's the deal, in this country they are going to get support. We as citizen are going to pay taxes to support those teenage families, and worst of all, those kids are STILL going to grow up in crappy atmospheres. We may as well pay for the birth control and save potentially multiple "lives", than have those lives reach into our pockets later (in the figurative and unfortunately literal sense). Now do I think we should require girls to take birth control. Absolutely not, and I don't condone sexual activity at that age either, but if we are going to live in a country where we are required to pay taxes for the impoverished anyway (and we do), may as well support something before peoples lives get ruined.

      2.  When it comes to condoms versus birth control for women. Let's take a moment and be honest with ourselves/ Or I'm more than willing to enlighten those who don't know. Most men don't like condoms. You know who is not going to wear a condom, an uneducated teenager who doesn't care about the repercussions. Even if he does wear a condom, it's less effective than birth control. When I was in Environmental Science my professor discussed how the argument behind hunting as a means of population control was flawed because if that were true, we should be hunting the Females and not the big Bucks. She said if  there are 20 deer and one is female, there can only be one litter, if there is only one male, there can be 19 litters. We need to be attacking the problem where it really exists. With the pregnant girl.

      3.   But Matt, don't know that birth control doesn't prevent std's? Ya, ya I do. If a teenager decides they are grown enough to be sexually active, they can risk the consequences. They are "grown up" enough to have sex, they are "grown up" to buy some condoms. Or they can live with the consequences for the rest of their life. Those little bumps, those are forever. But you know who should NEVER be considered a "consequence" that someone has to live with for the rest of their lives? A child. A child is a blessing, and once they are in this world, they deserve to be treated as such.

Something to think about.

A Real Politician

I try to read the editorial section and letters to the editor of the democrat gazette every day. If you never have, I absolutely recommend it. It's an opportunity to really see what people think.

You can argue all you want that the democrat is far left, or far right. (yes both arguments are out there), but when it comes to the letters to the editor, you truly get a look into the people of Arkansas. The ideas, morals, concepts that are TRULY out there.

I was an article by my guilty pleasure editorialist Gene Lyons that really  made me think. He spoke about how fortunate we are that Michelle Bachman's advisors abandoned her, because we truly get to see her  for the crazy person that she is.

Here's what made me think. And yes, this is going to go against everything I'm studying in college, and the defining of my future.

It made me think why? Why do politicians need advisors for their demeanor, for their thoughts, for their actions. Yes I understand that we want our politicians to be stable. But before elections, when we are truly trying to figure out who we are voting for, why can't we see this true person.

Yes Michelle Bachman is a crazy. lol. But she's PASSIONATE. She knows what she believes, and people will vote for her for that reason. Because she KNOWS what she believes and people KNOW what they believe. So those people are now being given the opportunity to have their crazy ideals represented on a larger scale.

Now allow to me to point out that in no way am I promoting Michelle Bachman. I'm promoting having politicians that will tell me what they are capable of doing. Candidates that will tell me what they ACTUALLY want to make happen while they are president/mayor/governor/representative/judge. NOT what they think we want to hear.

Voting for a whole lot of people that like to dress up as adults and play politics is getting old. I want people that will scream at the injustice. In the constitution of America it says that if we see corruption that we not only have the right, but the responsibility to do something about it.

I want a politician that KNOWS they have that responsibility.

Don't Speak

 For those who don't know, Don't Ask, Don't Tell has been repealed. The policy created in the Clinton Administration, that Michael Scott would tell you is a "lose, lose" has been declared a violation of human rights, almost 20 years later. So what better reason to begin blogging again than this?

As I accidently do in most of my blog entries, I will again make a point to discredit myself by saying that I'm not a soldier, nor do I see myself serving in the military any time soon. So, no, I'm not an expert.

But I do know about being a human being. A human being that, because of my first amendment rights, can express myself in any manner that I see fit.

Because of my first amendment rights. The most valuable right that we have. The right to have a voice. The right to yell out to any ears that may hear it. To say whatever I want to say.

That right was taken away from military personnel who were gay. The freedom of speech. Don't Ask, Don't Tell is exactly the opposite of the freedom of speech.

I will be honest. I understand if a bunch of straight males don't want to shower with gay males. The military does not allow males and females showering together, so I wouldn't expect men to have to shower with gay men. I understand if men don't want to be stuck in a fox hole with another man that may or may not be attracted to him. A homophobe has the right to be a homophobe. That is his American right.

Here is my problem. I challenge a single person to find a mature veteran who would take away an American's right to burn the American flag. The freedom of speech, the freedom of expression, the freedom of protest. Ever veteran will tell you that THAT is what they fought for. The freedom to say what you believe.

But a homosexual cannot say who they are.

The military sure did drop the ball on that one. Luckily they've been given a new chance.

Which Came first: Gamers with no friends, or Single player games

Well this entry probably isn't going to connect with everyone, but it's a conversation I've found myself having over and over, and I'd love some feedback.

The issue is of gaming.

And no, I don't consider myself to be a "gamer". (though I can be found playing hours of Madden)
And no this isn't a criticism the violence, sex, and drug use in video games "brainwashing" our children into making babies at 13 and joining games.
(Not yet......)

I think in order to talk about my issue with today's video games, I need to take y'all back to a simpler time. Not the times of pong (I'm not that old). I'm talking about nintendo, super nintendo, and n64. You see, back then, and still today, my father ran a pawn shop. So I, being the envy of my friends, got to use my dad's store like a library. I swapped out games and movies as I pleased.

Unlike my friends, I was never really into games like Zelda, or Mario Brothers, but I never really knew why.

But now I think I do.....

You see, looking back on what my favorite games were, it was always things like Super Smash Brothers, and Goldeneye. And no it's not because I'm particularly into violence, it's because my memories of those games always seemed to share one common theme.

Hanging out with my friends.

I loved having all of my friends sleep over, playing video games til 5 a.m,. drinking soda, eating snacks, laughing at each other, and having a great time.

So what's the point of this entry? Forcing others to read about your reminiscing? Well that'd just be cruel.

I was in my dad's store the other day looking at games (I don't get them for free anymore....) when I realized something. Not a single ps3 game on the shelf, there were about 30, was multiplayer.

Sure there were plenty of games that you could play against your "friends" online, but no games that you could play with someone sitting right next to you.

Who made that decision? That no gamers had friends? That people don't like to sit around next to eachother and play video games anymore?

Sure, I have friends that it's cool that I can play games against them when they live in other cities, states, countries, but it's sort of irrelevant if I never played against them when they were sitting right next to me.

I am one of those people that unfortunately believes that one day society will be made up of people sitting in their own houses doing everything from their own computers. Every action from a single chair. Never moving.

But today is not that day.

We have to stop buying these anti-social one-player games. That's the only way to let the game makers know.

If we want more multiplayer games, we have to do something about it! I refuse to resort to going back and buying the old systems and the old games. Whether or not people want to believe it, the prices on those have started going back up.

However, if things don't change I'm pretty sure I have an old n64 in my parents attic. It might just be time to dig that old thing back up.

Confessions of a Virgin

Anyone that knows me knew this entry was coming.

Yes. I, Matthew Pearson, am a virgin.
Yes, I realize I've been in a  relationship for 5 and a half years.
Yes, I also realize I'm 22 years old.

So what is this entry going to be about?

A boasting of holding on to my V-card until marriage?
Nope

a judgement of those who didn't?
Not at ALL

A preachy social commentary on my disappointment in the expectations of society......?
Well, I mean, don't act like you've never read my blog before ;)

While risking offending most of societies progressive movements, what I really want to talk about, is the stigma on remaining abstinent.

How super conservative of me, right?

Here's the deal. There are programs that teach safe sex, and there are programs that teach abstinence. There's really no middle ground, at least in Arkansas. Yes, if we are taught safe-sex, we are also taught that the "safest"-sex is no sex. But, of course, the instructor jokingly says it.

But why does it have to be a joke? It is completely possible to wait. And while I completely understand that no one HAS to wait, I don't understand why we have to "expect" that young people are having sex anyway.

My landlady came over the other day and told me we had to remove the infamous "that's what she said" poster. For those who don't know, it's a giant poster on the wall that is covered in "that's what she said" quotes that get mistakenly said in the house. My landlady began to justify herself by saying "I know you're young, and you're having sex, but I don't want to read about it on the poster." Well my immediate reaction was shock that she thought we were doing the things written on the poster. Hahaha.

Second reaction: Offense. I made sure to correct her. "Actually we're waiting until marriage."

And as most people react whenever I make the proud declaration, she was silenced.

As all journalists know, Never ASSUME, it makes an ASS (out of) U (and) ME.

Here's the deal: Ashley and I are waiting until marriage (two more days!) to have sex. Could we have had sex a LONG time ago? Absolutely. But we didn't, we waited. We learned about each other. We learned to appreciate every aspect of the other. When others were loving and losing, when relationships played musical chairs all around, we remained together. We were best friends. I am not ashamed of it at all. I don't feel any less of a man. We are still very physically attracted to each other. We have passion, we have love, our relationship is much deeper than I think a lot of people have experienced. Much further than physical.

Do I believe in the physical aspect relationships? Sure. But to put it on an elementary level. The penis does not have to enter anything to have a strong physical relationship. I think that concept tends to get lost, yet couples wander aimlessly spending ungodly amounts of money wondering why they've lost the passion. Why she's no longer being satisfied.

We worry about why children are reproducing. I admit it's a problem. But maybe shoving condoms into their pockets isn't the answer.

Maybe preaching abstinence isn't the answer.

Maybe these single parent children just need to be taught to love, not only others, but themselves.

The love of my parents was rivaled by no other. Growing up I didn't looked for a girl that I could use a condom on. I looked for a girl that would love me like my mom loved my dad.

I think I found her.


p.s. in two more days it's my turn :)

Who are we trying to impress?

Beautiful, busy, bustling, beaming; New York City is indescribable. It's an atmosphere that I challenge any place to match (seriously cause I'd like to visit that place too).

As some of you know, I love people. I could spend hours just watching how they interact, and New York was the ultimate catering to this pleasure. A smorgasbord of cultures, creeds, and colors served up on a platter for extroverts to enjoy.

I have a lot to write about when it comes to this city, I'll probably have four a five entries on it, but I want to start with an observation, and a reiteration of the first adjective used in this post.

Beautiful.

It's not just the sights that attract the world to this stunning city. New York has BEAUTIFUL people, with FANTASTIC taste in fashion. I couldn't help but stare in jealousy at some of the daring, sometimes gaudy, fashion decisions being made. Jealousy stemming from how naturally it worked for most people.

But it made me think:
Why?

Here's something I enjoy about my city. When I walk into a bar, I know someone. I dress to impress the people I already know. The people that I want to have an opinion about me. I just don't feel that that could be the mindset here. In the city, you're just another face in the crowd, another drunk in a bar, another number in a row. The city is beautiful until you get lost in the white noise. Is there such thing as too much of a good thing? Yeah I truly believe in that.

These New Yorkers seem to ignore each other anyway. You kind of have to. Jared and I decided that if "Yes Man" took place in New York, he'd be broke and homeless. But that's another entry for another day.

If these people really are completely ignoring each other, why even bother? Are they walking around dressing up for the day to pretend like their two seconds of eye contact (which is probably stretching it in New York) make up for the loneliness of not "really" ever meeting anyone?

It's the realization that your friends are only "acquaintances", but to an extreme degree. It's being surrounded by a million people, but feeling completely alone.

Without consistent interaction, one cannot truly be happy.

Cheers had a bar where "everybody knows your name".

Sounds good to me

How to make money :)

Okay so in order to follow my last post quickly as to avoid the onslaught of  impending pity parties, here is my answer to any dreamer that wants to make money.

We all sit around and have a million brilliant ideas. Whether it's making a ton of money, changing the world, or just adding a little excitement to an otherwise monotonous life, we all like to be dreamers.

Well here's a dream for you, and I'll break down reason's why it will work along the way.

The Real World - Conway.

I know what you're thinking. GODAWFUL. Noone outside of Conway will want to watch something like that.
But here's the deal, why does anyone outside of Conway need to watch it?
This is why I say that:

• American Idol winner Kris Allen (voted by the fans). 
• First ever fan voted Madden cover winner Peyton Hillis.

Conway has loyalty, and Conway has viewership.
This is my proposal. You get a huge house, and put 7-8 people in it. People from Hendrix, people from UCA, people from CBC. If you're interested, pull a couple people from UALR, or even a Conway High graduate.

Now there would have to be an interview process, and I couldn't guarantee Gold (especially the first time around), but what I could guarantee that you would make money off it it.

Here's how:
First you build a website. This is the forum in which you will share your television show.

• You start to create buzz. This won't be hard, because you're going to be interviewing tons of people on Every major campus in central Arkansas. People will find out that their friends might be on the show, and your site will be getting a ton of hits every day
• You take the proof of those hits to businesses around Conway FIRST! THIS IS IMPERATIVE! Why are we not going straight to the big dogs immediately? Because we are pushing Conway loyalty! Who better to advertise your website FOR YOU, than someone paying you to advertise ON YOUR website. They're investing money, suddenly your website is postered on every major business in Conway (Stobeys love anyone?)
• Through the sponsorships, you pay to rent the house, you pay the participants (college students don't ask for much if you have alcohol flowing), and you pay for all of the equipment and filming. We're in a COLLEGE TOWN. there are people with access to all of the equipment that you need, and they're ALL trying to find their big break. Ever heard of an internship?

Who wouldn't watch a bunch of people from Conway do ridiculous things? If one of the participants is from, say, Oklahoma, their friends from back home will also wanna view it. It has potential to be a huge thing.

Now when it comes to how the actual show should work. That's all up to you. I'm just telling ya'll how to make money off of it. All I ask is for a little bit of credit once it gets started.

:) you're welcome.

Anti-Smoking Green Movement

Ok.....this entry is going to be tough for me. I think the topic is touchy, I think that no-one has an open mind about it (Read my blog about being open-minded to understand my definition)
http://mattpearson.blogspot.com/2011/04/open-minded.html

but in honor of 420 being yesterday I think this is probably a good time to do it.

The legalization if Marijuana. It's a never ending conversation, and very rarely are either sides willing to give to the others. Today I want to address the topic. Not of whether or not Marijuana is bad, but whether or not our government should legalize it. I think I'm gonna frame this discussion around arguments that have been presented to me. And you know what, before I started writing this I said I wouldn't  because I didn't want even more people arguing with me about it, but if after having read this have this this irresistible urge to, instead of internalizing what I have to say and using it in the future, make this into an ugly argument of everyone versus me. So be it.

I also want to say that is entry is not so much for people who already know where they stand on the issue of legalizing Marijuana, it's for the people that are so indifferent, that when it finally comes time to vote, they're gonna vote for it. So here' goes something.....

CAUTION: Extreme use of hyperbole and exaggeration may occur to make a point and scare people into agreeing with me. Other effects may be extreme anger, disappointment, confusion, or laughter if you're high right now and have no idea what's going on. lol

People are going to do it anyway, we may as well tax it: Yep. People are going to do it anyway. People are going to smoke pot, people are gonna snort coke, people are going to smuggle underage girls across countries for prostitution. We may as well tax it. This is the most disgustingly passive aggressive reason I can think of. My kids are gonnna drink anyway, may as well  let them do it at home at the age of 12. There are my tangents. Allow them the resonate before you continue into the rest of this. People are going to do it? I don't smoke pot. All of my cousins, family, most of my friends do it, so why not me? Cause it's illegal. That's why I don't smoke pot, because it's illegal. Not because I think it's daaaaangerous and scary. Not because I think it's going to have terrible harmful effects on me. I don't smoke pot because smoking pot is illegal. And you know what, I could find hundreds of thousands of kids that don't smoke pot because it's illegal. And as long we pot is illegal, those hundreds of thousands of kids will continue to not smoke pot, they will continue to be productive members of society. (Oh whoops I said that kids that smoke pot aren't productive members of society. Not what I meant....) On the issue of taxing it. Ya you know what, we do have a problem with out economy. Are the pot smokers really prepared to start paying taxes for their weed. Cause u know what? I really am not ready for that whine.

It's gonna help people with cancer: Ok ya, this is one I agree with. I don't know any of the science behind it, and I'm not gonna bother doing the research, but on surface level if you wanna tell me that something in pot helps with cancer then yes, we should hone that. However if it cured cancer, wouldn't it be legal? Maybe not... But yes, if we wanna legalize thc pills or something for cancer patients so they can get help for their cancer. Let's do it! But That does not mean Joe blow down the street needs to be smoking a bowl. Honestly that has nothing to do with Joe. But I hope when they decide to use thc pills to cure cancer, but not for everyone else, I sure hope Joe Blow comes out to vote. I really do. I'm gonna steal this from Chelsea, "just because Vicadin is legal, doesn't mean just anyone gets to use it" lol

Alcohol is legal, why not pot? It's better for us anyway: Ya. It probably is. Again I don't care to go do all the research on the effects of Marijuana, the CONSTANT reminders of it by the smokers are all I need. But here we go. Alcohol is legal why not pot? Really? We have one drug, so why not two? Why not every drug be legalized? We have some guns legal. Why not all of them? May as well. Having sex with someone is legal. Why not with animals. Ya'll how many times does two wrongs don't make a right have to be said to make sense? That argument simply doesn't work cause it's inherently pointless, I'm sorry. Should they switch out pot with alcohol? Sure make it happen. I don't care. I don't want even more drugs to be legal though soooo.

It's not hurting anybody: Ok. So this is why we should legalize it. Because nobody is getting hurt? (Disclaimer: Most of these examples could also apply to alcohol, I realize this, but we're talking about legalizing something that is currently not legal) No person is going to get in a car after smoking at crash it? No child is going to emotionally scared by their deadbeat pot smoking dad? Drugs are bad yall. They do effect our decision making, they do effect our actions. Yes we choose to do them. Yes it is a choice, but we're talking about something that's ILLEGAL. Meaning right now, it shouldn't even be a choice.

We're wasting jail space with repeat offenders of this nonviolent crime: You know what, I completely agree. Is legalizing it the answer? We should legalize trespassing, loitering, reckless endangerment. The fact of the matter is, these people KNOW they are committing a crime. They KNOW it. That's the problem. If you KNOW you are breaking the law over and over then STOP complaining when you get arrested. I don't get why that is so complicated. Repeat offenders are dumb, I'm sorry. And ya they should go to jail for it. For BREAKING THE LAW. So here's the rebuttle, MATT the point is that if it wasn't against the law these people wouldn't be in jail. You're right. They wouldn't. And if child molestation wasn't against the law, child molesters wouldn't be in jail. but MATT we have the choice to legalize marijuana.

But I don't want it to be legal. Yep, after all of that my plain and simple point is that i don't WANT it to be illegal.

Want

A very simple concept that we are allowed to enjoy as Americans. Speaking our opinion and Democracy. What do the people want? If America wanted Marijuana to be legal, wouldn't it be?

I know my entry is god-awfully long, but I want to tell you guys my real reason for not wanting pot to be legal. A reason that really only applies to me.

For those who know me, I grew up around a LOT of marijuana. I won't get into specifics, but it was very readily available to me from a very young age. I was that self conscious shy fat kid with a fear of standing up for anything. Peer pressure was very much on top of me for a very long time, and it was quite inescapable. A lot of my family and friends lived very questionable lifestyles and did things that they now regret, or are doing things that they will regret in 20+ years (hopefully they will have grown up by then).

So why, why did I never smoke pot?

Why was I the ONE kid in my family that never smoked pot?

What was the solid foundation that helped me in the struggle when I was constantly being offered?

It was illegal.

I never had to smoke pot because it was illegal. I could could stand firm when I said, "No, I won't smoke it because it's illegal." And I'm eternally grateful that the law helped me through those very important developmental years.

And if ONE kid can use the fact that Marijuana is illegal as a way of reassuring themself that it's ok to be uncool. Then I VOW to help that kid keep it illegal.

It's Over (part 2)

I decided I needed to write more on the subject of the last post, because I wanted to tangent off about Friday night campfire, without taking away from the effect of the last post. But before reading this post, I think it's a good idea to read the last one if you haven't yet.

http://mattpearson.blogspot.com/2011/04/its-over.html
It's important lead up to this.

For those who don't know what Friday night campfire is (and no words could really do it justice but I'm going to try) it comes at the end of the week at summer camp. It is the last time that we really have interaction with these scouts that we've been teaching for about a week, and have basically adopted as our little brothers. We get to meet their families, we give them our last goodbye hugs, there are some tears (I'm a pansy), we exchange emails and pretend like our relationship will continue past camp.

But camp is camp. The dynamic is impossible to reenact. The work, the epic fun, the growth of mind body and soul. All of this is packed up into one week at a time, and then (for us staff members) flashed before our eyes 5 times over the summer at the end of every Friday.

We sing our final campfire song, shoulder to shoulder, embracing this family that, for some of us, is closer than our own. And as the song ends, as we gaze out into the crowd searching and hoping that that scout, your newest little brother, hasn't already left. That he's gonna run up and give you one more hug before he leaves back into that scary world that you helped him forget about for that week.

All around us is this chaotic rush of appreciation as the crowd swarms the staff members, the outgoing kids leaping on the backs of their favorite counselors, and the quiet ones tapping you on the shoulder, Bye Ampy! see you next year!?

Of course buddy, and I'd better see you too

And as the scouts are slowly dwindling we look to each other. Hold back those tears, you're a man :). And MAN i'm gonna miss you and this week too.

As some camp staff walks away, dreading the inevitable miles of paper work soon to follow on this evening, there are those immobilized few.

The few that refuse to remove their gaze from the campfire.

The few that hope that if they don't close their eyes that the fire will never die out.That they can live in this moment forever.

But, eventually, the fire will die out. And next year they'll build a brand new fire with fresh new logs..

Those old Friday Night Campfires, they may not have all of the same pieces anymore, but the memory and warmth of it's flame: That's forever.

It's Over

Some of you may know, but most won't, that History day in Arkansas happens on the campus of the University of Central Arkansas, and since I am the secretaries assistant, I got to spend this last Saturday working History Day. Well I got to work mostly with a professor, Dr. Ramsey, who is in charge of History Day for the entire state.

Dr. Ramsey isn't a particularly congenial woman, nor is she in the slightest bit perky. We actually very rarely have any kind of interaction except for when she's asking me to make copies, even though her office is a foot from my desk.

Three days before History Day she had to go to the hospital for emergency surgery.
The moment she was released from the Hospital she was back in the office instead of going home for rest.

(I promise this story is going somewhere)

That entire day she was smiling, and noticeably brimming with excitement. This day that everyone in the office talked about as if it were DDay and she was starting to get pumped up for it.

Well the entire day ended up being a blur, constantly being asked to run errands and fix things, from seven thirty in the morning to five in the afternoon.

At three oclock we had the awards ceremony. She did her announcements, shook the hands of the winners, and it was over.

After the awards, and after she addressed the winners I walked up to her ready to be told how to take everything down. As I approached her, I noticed that she was not there
.
She was staring off farther than the naked eye could find.......
but I knew where she was looking

I've seen that stare many times before, I've seen that place that she was looking many times before.
It's that place that culminates after a year of hard work, anticipation, fear, excitement, love, hate, sweat, tears, and for her even surgery.
It's that look that you're gonna miss this SO much.
That being retired and not being able to participate in this is going to break your heart a little EVERY day.
That you don't get to see those great people that have worked with you every year, ANY more.
That you will never make as much of an impact as you have for this moment.

She was staring into the Friday night Campfire.

So I walked away and let her have her moment.
I sure am going to miss camp this year...........:/

Morning Revelations

Leave it to those darn Jehovah's witnesses to give me a revelation this morning.

I'm about to leave for class this morning, T.I. blaring from my phone in my back pocket when I hear a light knock at the door.

Darnit, I gotta GO buddy.

But I opened it anyway. Who's there to greet me? A man in a suit with a bible and a pamphlet.

Oh my T.I. please keep your language to a minimum for a moment.

I quickly grabbed for my back pocket as the man smiled. Shut down my favorite rapper and smiled back at the man.

He wanted to tell me about their service on April 17th. Thanks for the packet. And he went on his way.
I walked into the bathroom to brush my teeth (I promise Ashley ;)) when I started to think, Oh MAN I'm happy my door doesn't still have the words "Happy Chanakuh BITCHES" written on it. That would have been embarrassing and I would have had to explain myself.

But why did I leave that poster up so long? Why did it take Ashley taking it down?

Obviously that poster is offensive, but my international tent mate made it. For the camp Christmas party. Which was definitely one of my favorite parties that I've thrown. So what if it was offensive. It was a great memory. Something that that guy could never understand.

Wow.....(yes I literally said WOW out loud at that moment in the morning when I had that revelation)

So here I go. Reforming a belief that I thought was pretty solid. Ole Miss has the Rebel Flag, The Washington Redskins have a Native American symbol. While I still believe that these things are wrong, and I still believe that these things are offensive. The people that defend them, and I don't mean those people that don't really care. I mean those people that defend those symbols because of what they mean to them. Because of the history behind these symbols and the experiences of their past with these symbols. I don't defend these symbols, but I do, now, respect the people that defend their memories.

Food for thought.

Open Minded

Open Minded. What does that even mean?

When people say "he's close minded" it tends to mean, "he disagrees with me." But that's not closed minded, that's just someone that disagrees with you.

Or someone is closed minded means they hold conservative beliefs. That's a really common way I see it used. If someone holds beliefs that were created hundreds/thousands of years ago, well they must just be closed minded. Examples: Pro-Life, Against Marijuana, anti-Gay marriage. These people tend to be defined at closed minded. With no consideration on how they came to those decisions.

But a person who is pro gay marriage (myself) can absolutely be considered closed minded, and I think we lose touch with that idea.

A closed minded person is someone that does NOT care what you think. Or what anyone thinks, they know what they "know" and that's it. And let me just say that there are certain topics that I'm closed minded about. {GASP} I think gays should have equal rights. I think Marijuana should remain illegal. Those are things that I don't see my mind changing about anytime soon.

Yes I know being closed minded is considered a terrible thing. So a student in class raised the question, well what is the difference between being closed minded and having strong convictions? Well I think that's an excellent question. We respect people with strong convictions. Right?

I don't know. What I do know is that anyone that holds a set number of beliefs today, and in ten years haven't changed how they feel about any of those topics. That person has failed. Failed at hearing the other side, failed at questioning themselves, failed at being open minded.

Do you have to change your mind on everything to be open-minded? I don't think so. Is it ok to have a million great arguments for why your side is best? Of course. Are there a million reasons for why the other side is best? Yes. There always will be. Could one of those reasons be enough to change your mind? Not if you don't bother to hear it.

Life is way to long to have already made up our minds by the time we're twenty.

Just sayin

Dreamers

Staring out the window
hand resting on the pane
so little separates so much
but really who's to blame

I let this pane stand in my way
as I slowly suffocate
fresh air less than an inch away
could I appreciate

all that the world could offer me
if I climbed out on a limb
right out this window I could go
I'd do it simply on a whim

But would I fall right from that branch
to that unforgiving ground
would people stand and criticize me
would no one make a sound

They could whisper that I'm crazy
that I must have lost my mind
how could I dare to break the norm
to skip my daily grind

Or will that one child see me
staring out the window too
my actions speaking louder than words
and he'd watch me follow through

Maybe he'll climb out on that branch
and make it to the edge
and see the sight we're meant to see
when we make our pledge

we're promised life and liberty
one point seems valued less
we forget the most important part
the pursuit of happiness

we forget we have to chase it
or else it'd be a gift
and it's the people who have given up
who tend to cause the rift

between the robots and the dreamers
they rarely intertwine
pick a side of the fence
and don't you cross the line

Most choose to be a robot
no emotion means no pain
but me, I'll keep on dreaming
out of my foggy window pane

We meet again

Hey darkness great seeing you again
I really like what you've done with the place.
Those are some interesting choices you've made
with the arrangement
Putting insecurity all around your source of happiness

that just doesn't seem right

I guess it's whatever works for you

I would suggest though
if you really want this place to hurt
I'd probably take away that light in the corner
It's kind of distracting.

It could have gone unnoticed

Today I'm going to tell a story. I will warn ya'll now that this will probably be my longest entry, so if you aren't interested, that's ok. This is a story about an injustice that would largely go unnoticed otherwise.

For those of you that don't know I went to an elementary school in a very poor neighborhood. That school doesn't even exist anymore. I will also point out that as a straight white male I qualified for the Arkansas Minority Scholarship. It is offered to students who graduated from an elementary school were their race was represented by 10% or less of the graduating class. So I was the white kid in this school

Now I'm going to give you a little bit more background, but recognize that I'm not bragging, just trying to set a tone.

I was the only fourth grader in the Little Rock School District on the quiz bowl team in whatever year I was in fourth grade. That was when sixth grade was still in elementary school. The next year it only went to fifth grade, so I was also the only student in the LRSD that had been to quiz bowl the year before. I was also on matholympiads (an LRSD mathematics competition). I was also in all of the gifted and talented programs that our school offered, and I gave the graduation speech when we graduated. The teachers, counselors, and principals loved me.

I was smart. That is the point. I was smart and I thought I had potential.

Well come graduation time for fifth grade we were talking with our counselors about what classes we would be taking in middle school. How exciting! It wasn't so much which classes we would be taking, but what level we would be taking. Well for those of you who know Dunbar offers regular, and pre-ap.

Well having been the kid that was always setting the standard in elementary school I proudly told the counselor that I wanted to take Pre-AP. This is where things got shady. She looked at me (and yes for some reason I still remember this moment, maybe I knew it was going to be important later in my life) and she said, "Well Pre-AP is really hard, I think it'd be best if you took regular and see what you think about it."

Well I never questioned my counselor, Ms. Davidson, she was AMAZING. So of course I said ok and went on my merry way.

Well middle school comes along and I'm in all regular classes. And two of my teachers, in english and in social studies, were shocked that I was in regular (with all of the black kids that I went to elementary school with) and had me transferred to their Pre-AP courses. I'm grateful for this. Those regular classes were absolutely worthless. I was disappointed that I was leaving all of my friends, but I got to be put in classes where I was actually learning (with all of the white kids).

Here is my problem. Was I singled out because I was white? Did these middle school teachers think I didn't belong just because I was white? That I didn't look like the rest of the class?

But here is my deeper rooted problem.

Why did my counselor think I wasn't ready for Pre-AP. Did she tell every student at my elementary school that they should take regular? And how many of my black friends stayed in those regular classes for the rest of their school career because that's where their friends are, because that's where they looked like everyone else in the class?

How many young black kids got this awful foundation because their elementary school counselors had low expectations for their future? Because of where they come from did they limit where they were going?

How many poor black children aren't even being given a chance?

I don't know the answer to that question, but I can sure tell you this: It is a hell of a lot harder to teach a seventeen year old math when  no one ever believed in him, and he has no foundation other than regular classes, than a sixth grader with all of the potential in the world.

We have to teach kids when they are young that it's okay to be challenged. If we stick all of the black kids in the challenging classes then they can be with their friends. They can see that it's okay to be taking those classes because they are together. Because EVERYONE is doing it.

Attitudes and mindsets develop at a very young age. I think society is doing a poor poor job at recognizing this.

A Million Fake Transactions

A million fake transactions
Lined up in a row
He greets and asks them questions
does he really want to know

Do they really want to tell him
How they really are
Do they even really know
The truth seems just so far

Was that transaction successful
Did he need to know their stress
Did he need to know their day, the end
The color of their dress

He could laugh and play along
He could tell a story too
But do you really want to hear it
Should he really lie to you

Should he tell how his deep sorrow
Tears into his heart
How he’ll amount to nothing
And doesn’t do his part

Should he tell you you’re replaceable
That convenience breeds his friends
That he’s been hurt a million times before
As if it never ends

He’ll probably keep it simple
Like everything’s alright
He’ll probably have a real big smile
say have a pleasant night

Then you’ll leave and nothings changed
Through this system noone’s grown
Today he’ll do this a million more times
Then he’ll go home alone

The Party

The lights are dim
the parties wild
with people all around
if he's not careful
he'll feel as if
his feet are off the ground

The energy
is far too high
his comforts on the wall
the world is spinning
round and round
he stumbles down the hall

a little calm
is all I need
he whispers to himself
a breathe of air
a silent thought
his drinks left on the shelf

and then he sees her
eyes cross paths
how could he forget
she's his home
she's the one
she's his safety net

was only minutes
yet felt like years
that she had stepped away

feeling alone
in a room full of people
was causing him to fray

but now shes back
she's all he needs
his power and his love
they smile they kiss
she's such a gift
from heaven up above

The House

He sits in his house
but it's more like a shell
he once called this home
but today you can't tell

is this really it
how should he feel
how much was fake
and how much was real

a family so big
becomes a family so small
when noone comes home
when none bothers to call

he sits all alone
on the cold kitchen floor
he's taken so much
won't ask for much more

he wants just one more hug
one more "it's okay"
one more proud smile
one more holiday

Hold on to them tight
because they will slip away
you see family is forever
but they need you today

Innocence

The little boy runs through the fields
playing games like hide and seek
he runs around so innocent
but paths are made, don't peek

you'll be a man, his father says
be strong, be brave, provide
and when your country calls on you
you'll go along the ride

to far away places, you'll see some things
but don't you shield your eyes
you'll lose your friends to fight a war
that's mostly built on lies

then you'll go home, God only knows
that empty feeling, that pain
there's not a sun for you, oh no
there's clouds and then there's rain

You blankly stare at your wife and kids
they'll never know your hurt
just yearning for that solemn day
that you'll be in the dirt

But that's the calling of a man
and questions they don't raise
and manly men they never cry
they take it to their graves

So go now son
go play your games, the things I've said forget
your innocence remains
til society collects its debt

Lol where is this poetry coming from?

This one is I miss you :)

I toss and turn
In bed at night
you're running through my mind


Alone at home
while out you roam
the cold is so unkind

your gentle face
your warm embrace
you've taken them away

I wonder why
although I try
alone in bed I lay

my ray of hope
no need to mope
it all works out you see

When sleep deprives
my woken eyes
again you'll be with me

Shiny

So I'm gonna try something different lol. I call it Shiny :)


There's nothing more exciting
getting that brand new friend
with that shiny new friend smile
and that great new friend smell

you meet and wonder why your paths have taken so long to cross

you love everything I love
you're perfect

is that a text
a brand new notification
could it be
are you really down the street

can we be friends forever
i'm pretty sure it's destiny
we can laugh, and sing
we'll have our very own inside jokes

lets hang out
doing nothing means everything with you
i'm excited!
you're coming over!

but wait.....
you're just like everyone else?
we're not gonna be friends forever are we......

into the box you go
it's where i keep all my other friends
they were shiny once too I promise

don't worry
i'll come back for you one day
I just gotta go grow up now.

Love your enemies

This weekend we were taught about loving your enemies. I've heard it a million times before. How ideal to be able to forgive and move on from any stressful heavy situation. To look the man who verbally assaulted you in the eye and say, it's going to be alright. I will pray for you.

We all know that that is hard, and near impossible. We get caught up in moments, moments that, usually, we are proud of after the fact. I think that's ok. As long as we recognize that it's wrong. Realizing you're getting angry at someone is a great time to recognize that it's time to walk away. To use the excuse of getting caught up in the moment, over and over, is wrong because it means you know what you're doing, and you're not trying to change the situation. There's no harm in walking away. This is hard for a man to say, and yes I'm not that masculine, but I still have testosterone pumping through my blood. No man wants to be inferior. But I believe that's where the problem is.

We are raised to think walking away makes us weak. The ability to say, "this situation is not where I need to be right now, nothing good will come of it." I challenge anyone to walk away. See how easy it is. I'd say it's the most difficult choice we could make. It's also the right choice. Now if someone is attacking Ashley do I need to respond, yes! If I cannot simply walk away because I have been jumped on, it's ok to defend yourself, but I believe that this is appropriate to an extent. When the person is off of you and you can get away. GET AWAY.

These are extreme examples. I think what the real problem is is verbal assault. If there is an argument. End it. Simple. If it's only ugly, end it. We only regret the nasty things we say. Even if it feels good immediately, it's another human being we were talking to. After that sermon I messaged a guy that I hadn't talk to for a year. I told him that the way I acted was regretful. That I'd forgiven us both for the things we'd said. That I wished we could be civil again if not friends. It was simple. Forgive and forget. Yes it took me a year, but there's no need for me to harbor anger about that situation any longer. He was my enemy. The only person that I refused to be around. I don't know what came of it, he told a friend he didn't know how to respond. Whether or not we become friends again, at least I let him know that I didn't hate him. That's what really matters.

I also want talk about something else that was said in the sermon. A rough account of what he said was, "don't do this because you think Jesus will look down on you and say THAT'S MY BOY!, no, he said, do it because when those people look at you they will realize that you have something greater in your heart. Something that no one can take from you."

That is awesome. My grandmother is the sweetest woman literally in the world. She gives and gives and gives. All of her time, all of her money. She attends churches filled with tattooed men and battered women because that is where she wants to tithe. That is where she thinks people need the money, that she does not. My mother and aunts talk about how she should spend more time on herself, how she is being used by other people. My grandmother is an inspiration. What she does is for a purpose greater than all of us. She has always been that person that kept me clinging on to the little bit of faith that I've always harbored. Not the aunts that go to church twice a week, not the friends that are in all of the church plays and participate in all of the church mission trip. No. My grandmother was always my source of strength in faith. I thank her for that.

and yes, I did just go on a tangent about my grandmother that she will never see :) Good day to you all.

You gotta be number 1?

My class was posed a question last semester that continues to come back to me: In terms of a news release, is it more important to be the first, or to have all of the information.

The correct answer in that class was always, Yes.

Of course it doesn't make a relevant answer to the question, but the question is one of those that isn't universally accepted either way.

Obviously in our society you have to be first. The moment something is posted, it's considered "old news" on any other site. This is one of the downsides to the newspaper, the sports section is reporting things that I easily read 22 hours before on ESPN, or CNN. In this age of technology we get news from across the world, almost real time. So if you aren't delivering that news first, you're losing your fan base.

But I think that this perspective is awful. Being first is great, getting information is very important. But my generation is lazy. I'd argue that most of the people my age aren't getting the news because they are pursuing it, I'd say they get the news because it's shoved in their faces. There's no way to avoid it, everywhere we go information will find us.

But therein lies the ethical problem with only focusing on being the "first". How many of us will read an article, and if any other headline appears to say the same thing as what we just read, or heard about, we don't bother following up. Why? Because we assume we've already gotten all of the information. And why would not? It seems unethical for a newspaper to report on an issue that it doesn't have all of the information on.

But it happens every day. The constant need to be the first, coupled with the laziness of my generation leads to a massive orgy of half truths and misconceptions. It's irritating to talk to someone who thinks they know "everything" about an issue, when it's a fact that they don't. Or even just to have a conversation with someone who has no idea what is going on in the world around them.

I'm pretty sure the world can wait one more hour to know exactly what happened. I'm pretty sure

What do we expect?

Let me preface everything I have to say with this: I don't care for hunters. That is my bias, but I recognize it, and it has little to do with the rest of what I have to say.

Life is hard. We struggle for money, and some people achieve it through "any means necessary." It doesn't help that statistically we will remain in the same socio-economic level as our parents. So the rich will be rich and the poor will remain poor.

I know that these concepts don't completely relate quite yet but stay with me :)

Culture is such a broad and encompassing concept, but very accurately describes certain peoples ways of life. Within the hunting culture, there's a mindset: you hunt the deer, and you shoot the deer. What's wrong with shooting a deer, probably nothing. (Again this is not my battle today). Some fathers use hunting as a way of bonding with their sons. Some people escape society through deer camps, or go see their buddies and get a little drunk. Is there anything wrong with that? Absolutely not. The problem occurs when hunters lose their guns.

Wait what??

Don't worry, it's not gonna happen anytime soon. Hunters will get to keep their guns because of two things. Their second amendment rights, and the gawdy amounts of cash pumped into the NRA.

I'm not going to sit here and claim that hunters are all upper middle class Americans. I understand that plenty of poor rural Americans love to hunt as well. But there is another group of people benefiting from that "savior" of an NRA. I'll give you a hint. Every business in eye view of my father's pawn shop has gotten to experience those people in the last 3 months.

Guns don't kill people, people kill people. Ya I get it. Be impressed with your little slogan while PEOPLE continue to die. Not by stabbings, not by being "jumped", because those are people killing people. People are being shot and killed every day. PEOPLE. Not "bad" people, not "dangerous" people. PEOPLE.

Well maybe those people should own a gun. So they can protect themselves. Maybe we should all just become super human, immortal, invincible, people with tanks. Because that's how the conversation is going to continue. We allow everyone to have guns, and when the next violent weapon comes out, drug lords will own it first because they ahve the money, and then everyone else will want one to protect themselves from it. If you can't beat them, join them.

.......great......

And my grandchildren will never be able to go out and play, because children will be bringing guns to school to protect themselves from predators.

We don't NEED guns. Plenty of "more developed" countries get by just fine without them. I like to picture Western Europe as our peaceful, educated parents, and the U.S. is like their 18 year old testosterone driven son. All he wants is money and power, he hasn't really figured out yet what life is really about.

I could argue that people that think they "need" guns are driven by fear, but it could be argued that I want guns gone because of fear. And yes, that is exactly why we don't need guns. Because of fear. It's wonderful that some kids get to go play outside on a beautiful summer night and catch lightning bugs and their parents don't have to be anywhere near them. Unfortunately, that wasn't me. I got to grow up in the culture that only sees guns as weapons. No one I knew hunted, but we all knew about guns. Most of the kids I grew up with hadn't ever even been camping, but we get to see all those "benefits" of everyone getting to own guns.

The U.S.'s policies are created by Upper Class White Males. Unfortunately none of those three characteristics represents the majority of the world that we live in. I don't expect them to know where I came from, but I wish they would try and understand.

Keeping Up

I don't want to brag (to those who know me know that's a lie) but I read the newspaper every day. Or at least I try to find time for it. It really doesn't take to long to, if nothing else, skim all of the headlines and educate myself a little bit.

I only make the point of saying this because I'm a college student, surrounded by college students. We are supposed to be the best and the brightest, yet on a consistent basis my peers have no idea what's really going on around them. I understand that we are dedicating a lot of time to our school work, learning exactly what our major entails, but my worry is that no one really wants to be educated.

Stay with me, here's what I mean. People hate homework, I get that, I'm the leader of that crusade, but SO many people hate what they are learning about. I don't understand. I mean I know that we can't all find our passion, but this that we are learning right now, is ideally what we are going to do for the rest of our lives. It just worries me. I'm so fortunate to love what I'm doing. Every class, every speech, I know what I want to deliver on or write about. It's great when I "get" to prepare for these things. Then I see others that seem to loath what they are learning, and I just hope they get to end up happy.

I know what you're thinking, great tangent Matt but what does that have to do with reading a Newspaper? Reading a Newspaper, to me, is the need to know what's going on. I'm not going to vouch for the prestige of the Democrat Gazette but we are about to venture into the real world. We need to know what's going on around us. It's just a showing of ignorance when you can't keep up with a conversation of a current topic. If nothing else, 17 percent of Arkansas have college degrees. We are representing a group that should be the best and the brightest, yet we are willing to go into the "conversation" unprepared.

UCA offers free newspapers to all students, they are in bins all around campus. This is not homework, it's a rewarding feeling to know what is going on. To be sitting in a group of adults and be able to state the facts to couple with your opinions. It just worries me.

I hope this made sense since i wrote it at different times. I don't like to go back and reread my posts immediately or I'll second guess myself

Afterthought: Don't you hate it when you open your mouth and a stream of spit shoots out. That's the WORST hahaha

Oh Television

So my roommate and I don't pay for television. We have an antenna for football games but that's about it. What we do have, however, is internet. I also have a subscription to Netflix. Which by the way, with an antenna, Netflix, and the internet, you can get access to any television that you could possibly want.

About two weeks ago our internet went out. I don't know how it happened, but I'm starting to learn why it happened.

Do you ever feel like your life has become a routine? You go to class, go to work, go home, get on facebook, watch some on Hulu with your girl. Then you go to bed. And then it's the same thing again and again.

Well here's a reality check, time spent watching television with someone, while it may be fun, is NOT quality time.

Last night Ashley and I laid in my bed talking for about an hour and a half. She is hilarious and amazing. :) where have I been for the last couple years??

Couples tend to have a falling out after they spend enough years together. They don't understand, they are together all the time, but feel no connection.

It's because we aren't "really" together. When Ashley and I are together in silence, that's when i remember how funny she is. That when she isn't being shushed for a television show. Sometimes we get so caught up in character's lives that we forget to live our own. I don't think that we need to get rid of television, I'm not one of those bandwagon protesters that think "there's nothing good on television anymore." There's plenty of good on television, and it doesn't have to be some culty show in order for us to be able to brag about enjoying the humor. But that's another tangent that I don't need to go on right now.

I just wanna say that television has scary power. My parents spent the last 26 years "happily" married. But when my sister and I finally moved out, they turned off the television and got scared of each other. Do I think that they were always this way? Absolutely not. But if we aren't careful sitting on our couches life just might pass us by.

Last Night

Last night was like any other night. Had home-made chicken burritos with Ashley, watched an episode of Bones, and then saw Spike Lee and Minnie Jean Brown-Trickey discuss the Little Rock Nine crisis.

Wait what?

What a way to celebrate black history month. The shortest of the year. Spike Lee came to campus last night and of course I had tickets to it. He was pretty great. He was real though and I think that rubbed a few people the wrong way.

When a television show tells you, "follow your dreams or you'll be sad," and then the character never does, and they are sad, so then they follow their dreams and it works out and somehow they make a ton of money doing it. Ya that's always nice

but unrealistic

But here was this man, who did just that. He was going to direct films. And he did. And you know what he told us, "follow your dreams." :). That is who needs to be telling me this. A man, who despite "more african american males go to prison than graduate from high school," he graduated from high school, then college, then film school. A man who despite, "two percent of teachers in the United States are African American," is a professor at NYU and before that Harvard. That is who needs to tell me to follow my dreams.

but here's his controversial statement of the night. The statement that even though mothers throughout the audience audibly praised him the entire night, were silenced when he said it. Followed by the applause of, in my opinion, semi-ignorant students.

He said, "parents are the number one destroyer of dreams." I hope I didn't misquote him as he went out of his way to say it three times, "because we're in Arkansas." :)

I can't imagine how heavy the hearts of the parents in the audience felt while their kids sat next to them applauding. It makes me realize how fortunate I am. My parents never made me be anyone. I was left to decide who I was. Yes their opinions were known, however the decision was ultimately mine. What I wanted to be in college, high school, even that awful mop top hair in middle school. My parents knew that ultimately I had to be who I wanted to be and all they needed to do was love me. When I got to college they didn't care that I had no major freshman year, or that I ended up changing the one I picked. When I decided this year to be a fifth year senior they told me, "We're paying this off together, do what you gotta do." They always told me, "these couple years are nothing compared to the length of the rest of your life. Make the best decisions for you, because you have to live it."

So I guess I don't really know what it's like to have parents who squash your dreams. I am blessed for that. Thank you Spike Lee for that revelation.

I think I'll go call my mom :)

Our Movement

The other night I was sitting in a classroom with my fellow seniors and I overheard a conversation that, while I hear it all the time, pushed a couple of my buttons.

A group of people were talking about a new Hilary Duff video where she tells people not to say the word "gay". The immediate question that arose in the group, "Is Hilary Duff gay?" The determined answer, "she must be because she supports gay rights".

In this month, black history month, we can't stop but think, "what is our cause, what is our struggle, what is our movment?"

It's staring us right in the face, but we disregard it because it doesn't effect us directly. The American mindset. In that same class we happened to watch Dr. King's I Have a Dream Speech. How relevant. I would never trivialize or minimize what the things that Dr. King and other civil rights leaders did to change rights for African Americans in our country. However, you can't help but think it took a lot of white people in the background to really make it happen. So why would white people care? A white person is never going to be black.

It's about the injustice. It's about rights for everyone. Is that not what America stands for? Equal rights for all people. White, black, male, female, straight............

and there it is. Our movement, our cause.

Gay people are just that, people. People who deserve rights, people who deserve respect, people who deserve to be treated just like me.

I won't get into all of my individual problems with it, because I'm far too opinionated and it would take a LOT of pages. I do want to point out that civil unions, which are even accepted in the majority of states in the U.S. still aren't sufficient and are virtually an insult to everyone.

I understand if people of faith don't want to "corrupt" what they believe marriage is. I understand that, "marriage" has a certain connotation to it that I have no problem with the Christians keeping. The problem lies in the separation of church and state. Marriage is more than the wedding. It has a ton of laws attached to it and you have to pay to get a "license". These laws are what gay couples deserve equal rights to and these laws aren't being provided through the civil union.

Gay couples can't visit their dying partner because they are not their "husband" or "wife". Gay couples don't have automatic rights to their partners estate when they pass away. If I were to pass away and have had children, and I had a gay sibling or even parent, they could not adopt my children. Instead they would either be given to a stranger or be stuck in a shelter.

Gay people are people, and it takes all of us gay and straight to stop this glaring injustice in U.S. history. When our children look back in history class at who we were during this time period are we going to be the leaders of a movement that was past due or the Bible thumpers who said that gay rights were wrong (sounds a lot like the excuse used for suppressing the blacks)

Food for thought.

Flattery

Flattered, it's so simple. You compliment someone and it's how they are supposed to feel.

Right?

Maybe not. I work at a certain retail store, and last Saturday I made it my mission to compliment 10 people. I use the term people loosely as I only complimented girls. Not to say I wouldn't compliment a guy, but you already have the stereotype working at a clothing store. Well every girl that I complimented had the cheesiest grin and thanked me. :) They were flattered as they should have been.

So why when I go home, whether to Ashley or some friends, is it so much more awkward to give a compliment? I give a compliment to some girl I know, what's the response "thanks but.....(fill in depressing admission of low self esteem here)"

If I compliment a family member the response is "what do you want?" Do I NEED to have an underlying reason to recognize that an outfit works, or a job well done? I shouldn't, but unfortunately nowadays I do. So is it a trust issue?

I think it's the self esteem. I'm not saying that our generation doesn't CRAVE awards. We get trophies just for playing, and our bosses are taking seminars to learn to praise our work more. The problem is that suddenly everyone is so enamored with what we are "doing". YAY I got a promotion. Yay I won an award. I'm proud of my accomplishments, but I hate it when I look in the mirror. I hate looking myself in the eyes. This mindset wreaks havoc everywhere. People can't sit in a room by them self because they are bored with who they are.

I'm not saying that everyone morning you should look in the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you are, or smart, or funny. But when someone else says it, it's true.

Why does the compliment have to be "you look GREAT, you've been losing weight!" Why does it have to be an action. How about "you look GREAT".

I think we as a society need to spread the love a little bit. Our parents give us trophies, our bosses give us praise, maybe we could do our part and compliment the next pretty smile you see :).

and yes in the future i will try to be more organized with my thoughts :)